Sis let me tell you…..
Little old Ari made this “Thank u, next” song and it really made me think about how THANKFUL I am for my ex(s).
We are going to use Ex as a term to refer to anyone I was talking to or in a relationship with for the sake of this conversation.
Now, if I am being honest, I am the queen of not taking people serious but making them (and others think) as if I am really invested in relationships.
I am full of crap if I am being honest.
I just never had the balls to say “I know that this is not going to work long term, we aren’t a match and I am sorry”. I was always a coward so I would just stay until the relationship fizzled out. That is a terrible habit I know, I was young and dumb. Sue me
Thankfully for me, I have had some wonderful people in my life.
There are only 4 people who I have ever been romantically involved with on any level that have really changed my life in any capacity.
(Now let’s be clear, others may have hurt me, made me really happy, or just been down right trash but they don’t actually contribute to the long lasting narrative of my life)
Let me give you a run down about them as a collective…
Three of the 4 have names that start with J. (I have a THING for people whose names start with J).
Three of the of the 4 were Taurus’. (I attract stubborn men)
All of them changed the way that I view love and relationships.
Now, lets get into each of them.
Number 1: Drunk pizza on U street
Now this is the guy that I just knew I was going to marry. Him and I never even made it into a relationship but when I tell you I had it ALL mapped out in my head. He was this handsome, tall, athletic, and dreamy guy who I just couldn’t resist. We went on like two or three little dates and for the life of me I can’t remember the exact day I gave up on our fantasy I just know that halfway through the drive home from seeing him I just knew we were a DUB. As the years have passed I have watched him blossom into an amazing person and he seems to be truly enjoying his life, but I don’t think he will ever know how thankful I am for him showing me what it means to truly just be in the moment. I am a planner and I have the worst habit of not soaking in the beauty of the moment, but him and I went to the ZOO one time and he drilled into my mind the importance of just allowing life to happen and that has truly stuck with me.
Number 2: McChicken’s, Sweet Tea, and the Car Wash
Now this is the guy that showed me hands down that love does exists. He came into my life at a really troubled time and completely changed my views on friendship, relationships, and family. He was fun, HILARIOUS ( as much as I hate to admit it), and kind. There were no glaring issues between us and he was always someone that I could count on. As the years have passed I have watched him travel the world, accomplish goals, and just overall become an even better man. I have had the chance on SEVERAL occasions to say thank you for changing my life and allowing me the opportunity to see love up close for the first time, but I could never say thank you enough. When you’re a little girl that doesn’t know what love is and you are searching for it outside of yourself, having someone like this helps to remind you that God is real and that you are deserving.
Number 3: Playlists, posters, Wiz Khalifa and Mac Miller.
Now this is the guy that was just down right sweet. Between the car rides, quick meals, and inconvenient meet ups, we were silly and that was all that I needed. We had a quick relationship that I am sure meant nothing in his long term but he always has stuck with me as someone who reminds me to love people for exactly who they are. He lit up any room that he walked in to. He was a friend to anyone that needed one. He was a beacon of light and when I find myself straying away from those things, I often ask myself what would he do…. I am so very thankful that he showed me the importance of being a friend in order to have friends.
Number 4: Sidewalk, moving couches, and tripping on the dancefloor
Now this guy was not like most guys I had been involved with. He wasn’t the funny one. ( I like my men funny). He wasn’t the cool one. He wasn’t the kind of guy that I would normally go for, but he was the kind of guy to catch you by surprise. He wasn’t one for small gestures, but would always knock a large gesture out of the park. He taught me the importance of growth and he taught me the importance of making sure that you bring as much to the table as you are requiring. I am so thankful to have had the opportunity to grow in ways that I wasn’t aware that I needed to.
You know they say that every person comes in your life to teach you a lesson… Maybe I missed the lesson from a few people, but I can’t say thank you enough to all of these kind souls. I am not about to act as though I was perfect in any of these ‘relationships/situationships’ but what I will say is that I am so thankful for them.
Things don’t happen to you, they happen for you.
So, thank you to my stubborn, hilarious, unique, and considerate ex (s). Let’s pray I added as much to your life as you did mine.